Kid Who Definitely Ate Sprinkles Assures Mom That He Did Not Eat Sprinkles

I remember it like it was yesterday: My nose was running like a faucet, and the pointy end of a magenta crayon was hanging out of my face.

“Madeline…did you stuff a crayon up your nose?” Mom asked. “Doh,” I said. “No?” Mom replied. “Doh.” But the jig was most certainly up. Off to the doctor’s office I went, but it’s not like little me enjoyed lying. I just had less than no idea how to be a person. (I still don’t, but that’s a different story for a different day.)

And that’s something this little guy knows a thing or two about. When he got a hankering from some sweets one day, he took to a jar of sprinkles with reckless, youthful abandon. But when Mom asked him where they all went, he assured her with the utmost conviction that he had no idea what she was talking about.

The only problem? An incriminating sprinkle-stache.

You tried it, little man. You tried it.

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18 Times Tumblr Completely Screwed With Our Minds

If you’ve ever used Tumblr, you probably know that it’s a mind-bending chasm full of thoughts that you never wanted to have. (It’s also home to some seriously disturbing fan fiction, but that’s beside the point.)

It’s essentially a one-stop shop for statements that will make you question your place in the world…and make you wonder why people have so much free time. For your viewing pleasure, we’ve gone ahead and rounded up some of the best posts that call the Internet home.

1. Tumblr can’t even let us have birds.

2. I mean…they’re not wrong.

3. This nonsense is about to ruin your day!

4. Everything is awful!

5. There’s nothing quite like ruining the most universally enjoyed activity of all time.

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6. Immaturity, thou hast always reigned supreme.

7. Question everything, friends.

8. “Just making my death pouch. Nothing to see here.”

9. How is this language even a thing?

10. Never has a yam caused so much unrest.

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11. For those craft-related disasters.

12. Walk into your next meeting, ask your coworkers one of these questions, and say nothing for the rest of the day.

13. We’re all commitment-phobes.

14. I want to kiss this person right on the face.

15. Life sucks and then you die!

16. I feel this in my bones.

17. Et tu, contractions?

18. If you need me, I’ll be pretending that the Internet doesn’t exist.

(via BuzzFeed)

So there you have it, folks. Just in case you didn’t already think that life was the worst, now you know. Thanks, Tumblr! You’re always looking out.

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When They Dropped Their Son Off At Daycare, It Was The Last Time They Saw Him Alive

Parents have one goal when it comes to sending their kids to daycare: to feel like the people they’ve trusted to care for their little ones are kind, competent, and caring.

But sometimes, proper daycare research can only do so much. If citations against facilities are kept out of public records, parents have no way of knowing the truth. This is something that one heartbroken family in Oklahoma learned the hard way.

When Derek and Ali Dodd — the wonderful parents of two young boys — dropped their youngest son off at daycare in April of this year, they had no idea that he would never come home.

One of the employees at the facility carelessly let little Shepard sleep in his carseat instead of putting him in a crib. She came to check on him two hours later, and when she touched his skin, he was ice cold. Although she called 911 immediately, the damage was already done. Sadly, the infant died from something called “positional asphyxiation.”

The baby suffocated in his sleep because he was left in his car seat to sleep.

At an early age, babies don’t have the strength to lift and support their own heads. If improperly fastened in a carseat, infants can become slumped over, which makes them unable to breathe. This act of laziness and disregard for Shepard’s safety on the part of the daycare employee is ultimately what took his life.

The most terrifying thing about the situation is that Shepard’s death doesn’t appear in public records.

Parents looking to keep their kids at this daycare center would then have no idea what happened. Fortunately, the facility has since shut down.

To help cope with their grief, Derek and Ali now work to raise awareness for positional asphyxiation so that parents and caretakers can avoid making this devastating mistake.

To learn more about their heartbreaking story, watch the video below:

(via Wimp)

No parent should ever have to endure the loss of their child, especially at the hands of someone else’s carelessness. If you want to learn more about the dangers of positional asphyxiation, check out this Facebook page, which was created in Shepard’s honor. This knowledge could save a child’s life.

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This Artist Uses Wire To Create Incredible Drawings In The Air

By definition, sculpture is three dimensional — and by most accounts, that’s what makes it great. Looking at a free-standing work of art that’s been attended to on all sides is a wholly unique experience, and the impact of viewing sculptures often carries with it a sense of immediacy.

And that’s what makes the sculptural work of Switzerland-based artist Gavin Worth paradoxical in the best way. His wire sculptures combine the emotive nature of free-standing pieces with the intricacy of depicting human faces on a two-dimensional plane.

After working as a designer for years, Worth latched onto one mantra: “Simplify, simplify, simplify.” As he explained to My Modern Met, “You definitely can’t be self-indulgent in design. You’re forced to focus on very clear, very economical communication.”

Art is a communicative force and a matter of translation. “I could feel love more intensely than anyone has ever felt love before,” he continued, “but if I can’t communicate to someone else what that feels like, then it’s just self-indulgence.”

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While his pieces read like two-dimensional drawings that float in thin air, a simple light change adds a third dimension to the visual experience of his work.

And that’s where his stories come to life. He avoids presenting the false version of human physicality that’s become most palatable to audiences today. Instead, Worth explores the imperfections of which we’ve unfortunately grown weary.

(via My Modern Met)

The idea here is to create pieces that serve as points of departure, leaving viewers with the sense that they’ve experienced a visual narrative. Just as writers put pen to paper, Gavin Worth writes stories in the ink of bent wires.

To see more of Worth’s work and learn about upcoming exhibitions, be sure to check out his website.

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This Artist Puts A Disturbing Twist On Something We All Loved As Kids

When it comes to embodying all things innocuous, toys reign supreme.

Whether they’re fashion-savvy Barbies or Star Wars-themed LEGOs, playthings are consistently innocent. That’s kind of the point. While we deal with the incessant onslaught of adulthood and its many harsh realities, little ones get to whittle away the hours in the company of their favorite plastic, plushy friends.

But one artist and toy designer by the name of Jason Freeny (previously) puts a deliciously dark spin on childhood staples like balloon animals and gummy bears.

As the son of a costume designer and a professor of sculpture and painting, Freeny was destined for quirky, artistic greatness.

The multidisciplinary creator’s career really took off after he started building anatomical toy sculptures in 2007.

Drawing influence from the likes of Andy Warhol and M.C. Escher, Freeny’s work is at once whimsical and twisted.

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There’s something refreshing about his flair for butting the frigidity of scientifically accurate anatomy up against the frivolity of toys that we all recognize.

Over the years, his designs have been picked up and produced by toy companies in Hong Kong and the U.S.

The best part? You can build some of these sculptures yourself!

(via BoredPanda)

It’s not often that we’re invited to spend some time inside an artist’s mind, so if you want to pick up a few models, head over to Amazon. For regular updates, pay Jason Freeny’s website a visit — and you should follow him on Facebook and Instagram while you’re at it!

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Cops In Lithuania Keep Pulling Women Over, But Not For The Reason You’d Expect

There are approximately zero people on this planet who enjoy getting pulled over.

Seeing those red and blue lights in the rearview is always a gut-wrenching experience, and it’s one that most of us tend to avoid like the plague by driving the speed limit and never being that moron who doesn’t use turn signals. And that’s exactly what these ladies in Lithuania were doing earlier this week on March 8, so why were they getting pulled over?

As it turns out, the cops didn’t give them tickets. In honor of International Women’s Day, they decided to hand out flowers instead!

These ladies feared the worst, but based on their reactions, those flowers cheered them right up!

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(via BoredPanda / Facebook)

Some people are knocking these actions as being patriarchal, but aside from that, the response has been overwhelmingly positive. If ladies are smiling on the day that’s dedicated to everything they do, all’s well! Women are incredible, and it’s nice to see that these officers agree.

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12 Of The Most Ridiculous Political Promises Ever Made

If you’ve been keeping up with the election, your faith in humanity is probably long gone by now.

And mine is, too. It flew right out the window and told me it’s never coming back, so see you never, hopes and dreams. While this batch of politicians is blessed with a unique brand of crazy, political weirdos have been spewing absolute nonsense since humans started governing themselves.

In honor of campaign season, let’s take a look at some of the most bizarre promises that professional crazy people have ever made. (And you know we’ll get to you, Donald.)

1. While George Dubya doesn’t exactly have a ton of fans, Dennis Kucinich’s vow to have him arrested back in 2008 was a bit excessive.

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2. Queen of Ridiculousness Sarah Palin promised to be “more rogue” the next time she ran for president, presumably in an effort to use her favorite word again. She was so rogue, in fact, that she didn’t run at all.

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3. Rick Santorum further embarrassed my home state by declaring a war on porn, because focusing on actual issues is stupid. He specifically wanted to ban hard-core porn, because porn of the soft-core variety is evidently A-okay in his book!

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4. Vermin Supreme might be a mock politician, but his promise to give every American a pony back in 2012 is something that I’m still waiting for this year’s candidates to revisit.

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Bernie, I feel like this one’s for you.

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5. Professional Hater of Reading Herman Cain promised to veto any bill longer than 3 pages back in 2011, because if it couldn’t be decided over dinner, it had no place in politics. In other news, he probably loves Twitter.

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6. When Jello Biafra, former frontman of the Dead Kennedys, confusingly ran for Mayor of San Francisco in 1979, he promised to make all businessmen wear clown suits. Basic logic would dictate that The Donald was his sole inspiration.

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That being said, I feel like this suit would suffice.

7. Captain Insanity, otherwise known as Newt Gingrich, swore back in 2012 that the U.S. would have a colony on the moon by 2020.

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I’m going to assume that he did not propose this as a way to escape a planet murdered by global warming.

8. Melting cat Ted Cruz recently vowed to make tritone music — otherwise known as the Devil’s jam — illegal when he slithers his way into the Oval.

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9. John Edwards, who is also a doctor in his own mind, once promised that he and John Kerry would cure Parkinson’s, diabetes, and Alzheimer’s over the course of one stint in the White House, because realism is definitely his thing.

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10. Al Gore poetically promised to keep George W. Bush all up out of the White House by assuring us that zebras don’t change their spots. Science.

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11. Trump’s opposition to NAFTA isn’t insane in and of itself, but his reasoning behind it is a little ridiculous, since he apparently finds people across North America — U.S. citizens included — dumb. In his words, “Free trade can be wonderful if you have smart people. But we have stupid people.”

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And maybe he’s not wrong, since Americans are voting for him in the primaries.

12. Michele Bachmann once swore that she would pull U.S. troops out of Libya and Africa.

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She also loves peanut butter sandwiches and sandwiches filled with peanut butter.

(via Complex)

This list just proves that political absurdity is not confined to certain parties, but instead, permeates the entire system. Makes you feel warm and fuzzy, doesn’t it? Same.

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10 Dangerous (And Expensive) Skin Care Myths That We Need To Leave Behind Forever

Whenever a new beauty trend hits the scene, I’m first in line to buy every product in sight.

Korean skin care? Way ahead of you. SPF serum? Sign me up. As a true junkie, I pride myself on knowing what’s up, but that doesn’t mean I don’t get sucked in by fads that fail to do a whole lot in the results department.

And that’s mainly because most of us, beauty addicts or otherwise, buy into a whole host of myths that have no evidence to back them up aside from word-of-mouth advice. Let’s take a look at the ones we need to ditch.

1. Myth: Lavender is great for calming irritated skin.

Fact: While that statement in itself is not false, here’s where adding lavender to your routine gets tricky. Although the soothing properties of lavender can calm redness, the plant can also make your skin photosensitive. That doesn’t bode well for anyone looking to spend time outside, especially when beach weather rolls around. To avoid burning and further damaging your skin, slather on some serious SPF if you use these creams, oils, and serums.

If you want to learn more about the pros and cons of using lavender-laden products, check this out.

2. Myth: You should never use oils or rich lotions on oily skin.

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Fact: As someone with an oily face, I can tell you that stripping your skin is never the answer. In fact, using harsh, drying cleansers and toners can actually trick your skin into producing even more oil. A good beauty routine starts with moisturization, so don’t be afraid of anti-aging oils and creams. Just use them sparingly. After a while, your skin will balance itself out. It can only do that if it’s healthy and nourished.

3. Myth: Eating too much of any junk food will make you break out.

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Fact: The association between all junk food and breakouts is a little too general. Instead of pointing the finger at every indulgence, blame high-glycemic foods. Treats falling into this category often contain refined sugars and carbohydrates, which cause inflammation. Studies have linked inflammation to breakouts, so that’s why zits appear after binging on stuff like pizza.

You can find more information about high-glycemic foods and their relationship to acne here.

4. Myth: All products labeled “hypoallergenic” will work for sensitive skin.

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Fact: Much like the term “organic” has turned into an unregulated mess in grocery stores, the term “hypoallergenic” tricks consumers with sensitive skin into thinking that products labeled as such will not cause irritation.

According to the folks at Paula’s Choice, “We’ve seen hundreds of products that are said to be good for sensitive skin that contain seriously problematic ingredients like fragrances, which are capable of triggering allergic breakouts or sensitive skin reactions.” Be on the lookout for ingredients like alcohol, menthol, and camphor. For further details, follow this link.

5. Myth: Using products from the same line will yield better results.

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Fact: You can chalk this up to clever marketing, people. While every brand under the sun claims that there’s a special relationship between ingredients in products from the same line, you can save some serious cash by doing your research. If you love an expensive lotion but can’t afford the serum that supposedly goes along with it, check the ingredients and look for them elsewhere on sites like Amazon and Dermstore.

6. Myth: Facial exercises can prevent and counteract the signs of aging.

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Fact: According to Dr. Frederic Brandt, the mastermind behind Dr. Brandt Skin Care, “The muscle contractions used in facial exercises can actually contribute to wrinkling.” Just think about how smile lines form. Over the course of a lifetime, those pesky parentheses on either side of your mouth become permanently etched into the skin. Repeatedly performing the same facial exercises can have similar effects.

7. Myth: Natural ingredients are always better than synthetics.

Fact: There’s a reason why businesses like LUSH (which is an amazing brand, by the way) do so well. They give consumers the option to swap out harsh synthetics for natural alternatives. The researchers at LUSH know exactly which processes their ingredients need to go through to make them safe and effective. For that reason, not all natural products are created equal. Citrus juices and coconut oil, for example, can actually harm and irritate your skin if they’re not processed correctly.

To learn more about which natural ingredients will actually help your skin, check out the LUSHopedia.

8. Myth: It’s best to use products that contain collagen and elastin.

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Fact: While all those claims about bioengineered collagen and elastin penetrating the skin and fusing with the collagen you already have sound great, they don’t hold up on a molecular level. The fact of the matter is that the particles found in these products are way too big to penetrate the skin, let alone bind with pre-existing collagen.

9. Myth: High-end products are way more effective than anything you could possibly find at the drugstore.

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Fact: According to most experts, the active ingredients in anti-aging products across the spectrum are pretty much the same. Even if concentrations of these ingredients in drugstore products are lower, you’ll still get similar effects over time. (And while we’re at it, I’d like to point out that no anti-aging lotion is going to make you look like you just had a facelift, even if you spent a small fortune on it.)

10. Myth: Baking soda is great for exfoliating and detoxifying the skin.

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Fact: This one is particularly maddening, since beauty gurus, DIYers, and even major brands claim that baking soda is something that you should be using on your face. In fact, Biore just came out with a face wash based on the harmful trend. You absolutely should not use baking soda on your skin.

Not only is it too harsh to use as an exfoliant, but it’s also way too basic. The PH level of baking soda can throw your skin totally out of whack — so much so that you could rob your skin of its natural ability to fight bacterial infections. Click here for more details.

The fact of the matter is that everyone’s skin is different.

(via Real Simple)

What works for me might not work for you, and that’s totally fine! While it’s important to acknowledge the shortcomings of beauty fads and call out problematic myths, the pros of using lavender oil may outweigh the cons for you, or you really might break out after eating any form of junk food. Just figure out what works (and doesn’t work) for you. Before starting any new regimen, it never hurts to do some digging online and consult a dermatologist!

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