18 Times Tumblr Completely Screwed With Our Minds

If you’ve ever used Tumblr, you probably know that it’s a mind-bending chasm full of thoughts that you never wanted to have. (It’s also home to some seriously disturbing fan fiction, but that’s beside the point.)

It’s essentially a one-stop shop for statements that will make you question your place in the world…and make you wonder why people have so much free time. For your viewing pleasure, we’ve gone ahead and rounded up some of the best posts that call the Internet home.

1. Tumblr can’t even let us have birds.

2. I mean…they’re not wrong.

3. This nonsense is about to ruin your day!

4. Everything is awful!

5. There’s nothing quite like ruining the most universally enjoyed activity of all time.

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6. Immaturity, thou hast always reigned supreme.

7. Question everything, friends.

8. “Just making my death pouch. Nothing to see here.”

9. How is this language even a thing?

10. Never has a yam caused so much unrest.

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11. For those craft-related disasters.

12. Walk into your next meeting, ask your coworkers one of these questions, and say nothing for the rest of the day.

13. We’re all commitment-phobes.

14. I want to kiss this person right on the face.

15. Life sucks and then you die!

16. I feel this in my bones.

17. Et tu, contractions?

18. If you need me, I’ll be pretending that the Internet doesn’t exist.

(via BuzzFeed)

So there you have it, folks. Just in case you didn’t already think that life was the worst, now you know. Thanks, Tumblr! You’re always looking out.

Read more: http://www.viralnova.com/mind-blowing-internet/

23 Times Neil DeGrasse Tyson Was So Sassy It Hurt

Astrophysicist with attitude.

1. On the end of the world:

2. On measuring the length of blood vessels:

3. On intelligent life:

4. On alternative medicine:

5. On professional athletes:

6. On middle fingers:

If we had twelve fingers, there’d be no middle finger to flip at people with whom you’ve run out of words to communicate.

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

7. On The Los Angeles Angels:

Does it disturb anyone else that “The Los Angeles Angels” baseball team translates directly to “The The Angels Angels”?

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

8. On “toxins”:

The likelihood that a person uses the word “toxin” correlates strongly with how much Chemistry the person does *not* know

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

9. On Snoop Dogg:

If @RealJeffreyRoss and other comedians honored @SnoopDogg, would that be a “Pot Roast”?

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

10. On July 4th:

July 4 – Happy Birthday USA. Celebrating the day we declared Independence, and not the day we actually achieved it.

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

11. On “total eclipses”:

Total Eclipses occur every couple of years or so. If anyone calls them “rare”, ask if they feel that way about the Olympics.

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

12. On the state of television:

America 2012: The Learning Channel has HoneyBooBoo, History Channel has PawnStars: and the Science Channel has PumpkinChunkin

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

13. On the “Super Moon”:

Moon Lunacy strikes again: The impending Supermoon is to an average full Moon what a 16″ Pizza is to a 15″ Pizza. So chillax.

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

14. On hip-hop:

I’m quite sure that Frogs were into Hip-Hop long before the music industry was.

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

15. On soccer players:

I wonder what Rugby players think every time they see a Soccer player crying in pain from being grazed by another player.

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

16. On psychics:

A news headline you hardly ever see: “Psychic Wins the Lottery Again”

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

17. On Spanish sportscasters:

Good thing Spanish fútbol sportscasters don’t announce basketball, they’d spend 1/3 of playing time saying “Goooooooooooool”

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

18. On plane cabins:

Flight Attendants say: “Cabin pressurized for your comfort & safety.” What they mean is: “otherwise you’d freeze & suffocate”

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

19. On “Miss Universe”:

Astrophysicists are monitors of extreme adjectives. Which is why “Miss Universe” to us is just “Miss Earth”.

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

20. On airport customs:

Had to wait in line to renew a Passport allowing me to visit members of my own species across artificially conceived borders.

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

21. On Olympic curling:

I occasionally wonder whether people who are good at Olympic Curling are also good at sweeping out the basement.

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

22. On Red Bull Stratos:

I’m told somebody’s jumping out of a perfectly good balloon from 23-miles up. The theory of gravity no longer needs to be tested in this way

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

23. And on his DJ name:

If I were ever to become a Hip-hop DJ,I think I’d choose the name “MC-squared”

— neiltyson (@Neil deGrasse Tyson)

Read more: http://www.buzzfeed.com/jarrylee/astrophysicist-with-attitude