Constitution bam! Ruth Buzzi blasts Obama with brilliant idea

http://twitter.com/#!/Ruth_A_Buzzi/status/424228654848016384

Gasping! Period.

Comedian Ruth Buzzi retweeted that snark-summation and then went one further. Buzzi has a brilliant idea for Obama and other politicians:

http://twitter.com/#!/Ruth_A_Buzzi/status/425659922701766656

Genius!

The tweet has been retweeted over 700 times and counting.

Buzzi then upped the funnies with a bonus retweet mocking Al Gore:

http://twitter.com/#!/Ruth_A_Buzzi/status/425907516170440704

Heh.

Related:

‘Spitting image!’ This Ruth Buzzi Miley Cyrus on horseback impression is great (Bonus pot question) [photo]

Ruth Buzzi: ‘Entertainers should entertain,’ leave politics to the experts

Ruth Buzzi amends the Las Vegas slogan

Ruth Buzzi volunteers to lead our country

Comedian Ruth Buzzi comes out as a Marxist

Comedian Ruth Buzzi tweets her thoughts on old age

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2014/01/22/bam-tastic-how-to-get-pols-to-read-constitution-ruth-buzzi-blasts-obama-with-brilliant-idea/

Rep. Mark Sanford calls off engagement in epic Facebook post

http://twitter.com/#!/AliABCNews/status/510543336726593536

Better yet keep personal, personal, divorce is ugly @AliABCNews: Pro tip for Mark Sanford: Write drunk, edit sober. https://t.co/vqHMDJbJEY

— SalenaZito (@SalenaZitoTrib) September 12, 2014

Rep. Mark Sanford (R-S.C.) announced that he has broken off his engagement with Maria Belen Chapur in a very lengthy Facebook post issued Friday. Did we mention it was a lengthy announcement?

Wow, I think that Mark Sanford Facebook post is longer than the Appalachian Trail.

— DANNI CRANE (@DCPlod) September 12, 2014

That Mark Sanford Facebook post? Comes in at 2,346 words.

— Cyra Master (@cyram) September 12, 2014

#longreads RT @elisefoley: That Mark Sanford Facebook post is 2,348 words.

— Kate Nocera (@KateNocera) September 12, 2014

Shortly before posting 2,346 Facebook tirade against his ex-wife, Mark Sanford filed motion to put her under gag order, her atty tells me.

— Karen Tumulty (@ktumulty) September 12, 2014

Mark Sanford's press secretary (if he has one) must be going ballistic http://t.co/oNxLgqB7HY

— Shira T. Center (@shiracenter) September 12, 2014

I now know more of Mark Sanford's business than I know about my own.

— tressie mc (@tressiemcphd) September 12, 2014

This type of thing is why I have a personal rule not to post on Facebook after 10:00 pm. Former South Carolina… http://t.co/iAc7Qu4dtA

— Michael J. Evans (@EvansMichaelJ) September 12, 2014

I'll give $5 to the person who can do the best Photoshop of me pulling Mark Sanford away from Facebook.

— Joel Sawyer (@joeldavidsawyer) September 12, 2014

Mark Sanford's epic Facebook post clocks in at 2,347 words. But why were we denied a press conference?! https://t.co/JZPy9Wq9y9

— Jessica Taylor (@JessicaTaylor) September 12, 2014

Wow, @MarkSanford pens LONG note on FB RE: most recent lawsuit from ex-wife, says he's ending engagement w/ Belen: https://t.co/5MJePOJE6K

— Frank Thorp V (@frankthorpNBC) September 12, 2014

Rep Mark Sanford barfs his heart out on Facebook. (He broke up with Appalachian Trail lady, btw) https://t.co/KiaspwU1SW

— Erin Gloria Ryan (@morninggloria) September 12, 2014

Say what you will about Mark Sanford, but the guy knows how to emote.

— Steven Dennis (@StevenTDennis) September 12, 2014

Here’s a very small excerpt:

My question now though is how to respond given I am being summoned to the court room again on Monday. I have prayed on it, thought on it and asked the advice of friends.

Here is where I have settled:

I cannot do this anymore. In all life there comes a point wherein lines must be drawn in the way that we attempt to respond in ways that don’t invite more in the way of conflict and add more in the way of modeling Christ’s humility in giving in every instance. I’ll never get that mix right, none of us do, but I believe it’s what we are to pursue in all of our responses to the inevitable reality of conflict in our lives.

So here are a few thoughts that hit me:

One, in as much as you sign my paycheck and you have elected me to represent you in Washington, I think I owe you my thinking on this personal, but now public matter. More than at any time in my life, I believe I am subject to not just the laws of God, but the authority of my fellow man.

I feel sorry for Mark Sanford, for Jenny Sanford and for their sons. an awfully sad situation.

— John Harwood (@JohnJHarwood) September 12, 2014

Mark Sanford has done a lot that’s hard to defend. None of it I’ve seen warrants keeping him from his children.

— Conor Friedersdorf (@conor64) September 12, 2014

Oh, and after all this time, I still don't feel sorry for Mark Sanford. Adultery has consequences, and they don't go away quickly.

— Brittany Cover (@bccover) September 12, 2014

Mark Sanford broke up with his girlfriend & wrote a 2300-word Facebook rant. Definitely still electable – for jr. high student council.

— CC:Indecision (@indecision) September 12, 2014

Related:

Mark Sanford running for Congress … no, really!

Mark Sanford climbs back into Twitter saddle for congressional run

Mark Sanford: ‘None of us go through life without mistakes'; Many conservatives not in forgiving mood

Mark Sanford’s ‘very private’ fiancée congratulates him on GOP runoff victory

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2014/09/12/longer-than-the-appalachian-trail-rep-mark-sanford-calls-off-engagement-in-epic-facebook-post/

Sen. Jay Rockefeller admits to ‘literally bludgeoning’ someone

http://twitter.com/#!/davidcnswanson/status/299615819191701504

Jay Rockefeller “literally bludgeoned” somebody, he says. #goon

— John Podhoretz (@jpodhoretz) February 7, 2013

Pols gone wild RT @kevinwglass: Rockefeller: “We literally bludgeoned them” into sharing information with other senators. #impeach

— David Freddoso (@freddoso) February 7, 2013

Wait. What?

And we thought Democrats were against torture.

That sounds worse than an enhanced interrogation technique. RT @freddoso: Rockefeller LITERALLY bludgeoned someone?

— David (@dave11430) February 7, 2013

Related:

#Literally: Biden’s verbal tic prompts bipartisan mockery

Rep. Jim Clyburn mocks Joe Biden on his birthday — literally

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2013/02/07/sen-jay-rockefeller-admits-to-literally-bludgeoning-someone/

Trump cancels rally in Miami on Monday; Heads to Ohio instead

Is Donald Trump confident that he’ll win Florida and its 99 delegates on Tuesday? Maybe so.

He’s cancelled his big rally in Miami on Monday in favor of one in Youngstown, Ohio instead:

He’ll have his victory party at Doral, if he wins that is:

Trump will still be inTampa on Monday.

Polls have Trump way up in Florida and challenging in Ohio:

FWIW, a protest was scheduled for Monday in Miami with almost 1000 people signed up on the group’s Facebook page but it’s not clear if this had an bearing on Trump’s decisions (Our thought? Probably not):

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2016/03/13/game-over-for-rubio-trump-cancels-rally-in-miami-on-monday-heads-to-ohio-instead/

‘Goodfellas’ jokes abound following death of former mobster Henry Hill

http://twitter.com/#!/sixthformpoet/status/212784131631886336

TMZ reports that Henry Hill, the inspiration for Martin Scorsese’s gangster film “Goodfellas,” died yesterday at the age of 69. The Twitterverse couldn’t resist sending him off with an avalanche of “Goodfellas” puns, quotes, and jokes.

Too soon?

RIP Henry Hill. Deadfella.

— Eli Braden (@EliBraden) June 13, 2012

RIP, Henry Hill. Murder, robbery, extortion, arson, drug-dealing and adultery aside, you were one of the good guys.

— Sixth Form Poet (@sixthformpoet) June 13, 2012

Henry Hill of Goodfellas fame, dead. "We ran everything. Everybody had their hands out. Everything was for the taking. Now it's all over."

— Peter Botte (@PeterBotte) June 13, 2012

RIP HENRY HILL: He'll be buried in a shallow grave in upstate New York and covered in lime. #Deadfella

— Lou Brutus (@LouBrutus) June 13, 2012

RIP Henry Hill. Funeral arrangements include a long fluid tracking shot from the morgue, into the wake, that ends at the cemetery. #CueLayla

— Gerry Duggan (@GerryDuggan) June 13, 2012

"He's gone, and we couldn't do nuthin about it. That's it. He's gone (clears throat) He's gone…and that's it" – Henry Hill's coroner

— Matt Oswalt (@Puddinstrip) June 13, 2012

Henry Hill, the real Goodfella played by Ray, has died. Can't wait to read the obituary tomorrow once I get the papers, get the papers.

— Steve Hughes (@moviegoblin) June 13, 2012

I wonder if the grim reaper asked Henry Hill ' am I a clown? do I amuse you?'

— Pete Hutcheon (@daddymojorisin) June 13, 2012

Henry Hill, RIP. Egg noodles & ketchup to be served at wake. #likelead #baboom

— Patton Oswalt (@pattonoswalt) June 13, 2012

Henry Hill is dead. To honor his memory, I'm gonna make somebody drive all the way to Rockaway to get my lucky hat.

— Jim Vejvoda (@StaxIGN) June 13, 2012

Henry Hill, basis for the movie Goodfellas, has finally been murdered by the ruthless hitman known as Being Old.

— Chase Mitchell (@ChaseMit) June 13, 2012

Read more: http://twitchy.com/2012/06/13/goodfellas-jokes-abound-following-death-of-former-mobster-henry-hill/